For the two of you left on Earth that live under rocks and don't know that I recently went shiny-side-down in my wife's BMW wagon, it was a thing. Not a good thing. You still wouldn't know if you followed me on twitter since I don't post there much - follow this guy instead.
It's rather surreal to be driving down the road and then suddenly be upside down. But I can't say I recommend trying it for the experience. Here are a few reasons to not try it.
The top ten reasons to not roll over your wife's car:
10. AAA does not, in fact, offer roadside assistance to vehicles whose wheels are not in contact with the ground. Who knew? Not even with AAA Plus! They will call the police to help you out. Who will, in turn, contact the same towing people that AAA could have called if your car was still on it's wheels.
9. You may find that most normal people will be glad that you were ok but some family members actually were hoping you'd have gotten "just a little more injured" to "teach you a lesson." Uh, yeah.
8. Your wife, being amazing, will first make sure you are ok. Then she will kill you.
7. Your kids will ask how you accomplished this feat. You'll explain it to them hoping they will learn to never do it. And then tomorrow and every day after that they will ask again, allowing you to relive the moment every hour for the rest of your ever-loving life.
6. For some reason, engines were not designed to be operated 180 degrees from the orientation in which you get them from the car store. They tend to leak fluids where there were no leaks before. Luckily, they don't leak gasoline unless you did something to the tank. Best to shut it off and climb out if you find yourself upside down. And find a bucket.
5. You can probably save a little bit of gas by making aerodynamic changes such as removing the side mirrors. But breaking them off forcibly by rolling the car over is not a good way to make these efficiency modifications. Look up hypermiling instead.
4. All those things that you don't think about strapping down when you're driving around town - the kid's booster seats, the floor mats, pairs of skis and boots - you know, the little things - they become rather more like projectiles that want to impale you when they become airborne. If your car is not perfectly clean and tidy, definitely do not roll it over.
3. When the experts suggest "increasing the size of your contact patch" for better traction, don't misinterpret what they mean. The roof of your car, while offering much more surface area in contact with the road, is not sufficiently grippy to be an improvement over your tires' contact patches. Your cornering will suffer.
2. A trip to Australia to see what the world feels like upside down is probably a bit less expensive than the repairs and your wife might actually enjoy it!
And the #1 reason to not roll over your wife's car is:
That idle threat your wife made one time to slowly remove your testicles with the dull oyster shucking knife in the bottom drawer - yeah, she actually wasn't kidding!!